Fake-Like-You-Care-About-Me Week, Day 4


Any weird characteristics or phobias?

Lots of weirdness. Of course you aren’t surprised. Off the top of my head:

– I keep the money in my wallet in sequential order by serial number. I am wicked fast at getting it in order too. A cashier hands me a fistful of crinkled, faces going in different ways, out-of-numeric-order bills? In the time it takes you to put your wallet in your purse and pick it up off the counter, I’ve also done that plus OCD’ed the shit out of my money.

– I have never had more than a swallow of a diet soda in my life. I’ve taken sips which were followed by a gag. Diet drinks taste like something from a chemistry beaker to me; I can’t explain it, but it is a horrible poison-like taste.

– I am up at 4:06 every morning. By the time I leave for work, I have spent 1-2 hours at the gym, did a load or two of laundry, made and packed my lunch, prepped dinner, read all of your blogs…you get the point. The downside of this early-riser lifestyle is that I am asleep by 8:00 every night.

– When I make plans with friends, the time we are meeting never ends in a zero. We meet for drinks at 5:33, have lunch at 11:28, etc. Why does everyone favor zeros? I’m an equal-opportunity number user.

And my only phobia, its a big one: I have a fear of fish. Like serious, heart-racing, short of breath, panic-attack if I see them swimming, fear of fish. A dead fish, fine. Sushi, yum. But I can’t even watch a fish in an aquarium. Those big tanks you see in the doctor’s office waiting room and the Chinese restaurant. Nope, I gotta get a new doctor and buy by Moo Shu Pork somewhere else. If you made me go in a fish-filled body of water, I would have a stroke and die. Dan, that fish widget on your website’s sidebar, it WIGS ME OUT; it is the only flaw in the sea of perfection that is you.

[UPDATE: Dan loves me. He is now flawless. See his comment below.]

Me in the perm phase of my adolescence. And, yes, I was a Girl Scout. Go ahead and laugh.

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